Touching Note From Mother to Daughter

 My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

Original text in Spanish by Guillermo Peña.

It SUCKS To Get Old

Yes, been feeling a bit old lately. No, that's a lie. Actually, I have felt this way for several years. I know I am ways away from retirement age, but I am on a fast track to getting there.  With my failing memory, my far sighted-ness forcing me to wear readers to do ANYTHING, and my infinite "wisdom" I feel I have crossed into "over the hill" zone.   It doesn't help that I can admit that I have "teenagers" now and that the nest will be empty in a blink of an eye.

Ho-hum, the depression sets in.....

Crabby Old Man

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . .. . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . .. Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . . With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . With wings on his feet..
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . .. That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . .. . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . .. . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . .. . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . See ME!!

~Anonymous

Social Media & How We Lost Our Communication Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someones actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   


One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?


Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

It Happens To The Best Of Us, My Dear

My almost 13 year-old daughter was looking at old pictures of me from when I was much younger and much thinner. She immediately got this real animated voice and said, "Look at my mom, she is so young!" Similar things were said over, and over again throughout the night as if she could not believe I was ever younger than I am now. She acted as if it was sad that I am now so very old. I told her, "It happens to the best of us, my dear. You too will get old!"

Facebook Is Making Me Think Too Much!

I have been visiting Facebook everyday now for the last several months. I am keeping in touch with old classmates from high school as well as relatives from in and out of state. It's also a great way to build friendships with people I am casually acquainted with.

FB offers picture and video posting. Many of my classmates from high school have posted pictures from back in the day. One guy, Anthony, carried a video camera around school the whole last day of Senior year and captured a lot of great video footage. High school came back to me and started filling my mind with memories. After 20 years, my memory is pretty shot! lol

These memories made me realize something. I thought of myself as a good kid. I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs or party. I never got in trouble and I worried about everything, including the future. Many of the pictures and videos I saw were all of the "party" crowd. It started me thinking that it looked like they had lots of fun being "teenagers". At the time, I looked down my nose at them because they were crazy and not responsible. Plus, I didn't want to get in trouble. I realize that even though I was friends with a lot of people, I missed out on a lot of growing that should have happened back then. Even though those kids did things that they should have got in trouble for, maybe that's what I needed to experience. Instead, I kept busy with school, planning my upcoming wedding and staying involved with Drama. Don't get me wrong, I still went out and did stuff, like cruising and going to movies, etc. But I didn't do the stuff that now looks so fun to me now. Maybe my life would have been different had I been wild and crazy at 17 instead of waiting until my quarter life crisis at 31. I don't know and I guess I will never know. But I am curious how those "crazy kids" are now. Do they still party all the time? What kind of parents are they?

Perhaps I will push my kids to be a little "crazy" during school and not be so hard on them. I know I will encourage them to "have fun" and "be a kid" a little more.

Balance Is Not What It Used To Be

When I was a kid, I was able to climb trees, ride my bicycle with no hands, and I was hell on wheels when it came to rollerskating. Somewhere along the way, I lost my great sense of balance. Is it that "old age" thing creeping up on me? No, make it stop!

I decided last night that it would be a good idea to put on my in line skates and get some exercise. Dan immediately was worried. He kept asking me if I thought it was a good idea. "What, do you think I am going to fall or something" I asked. He just looked concerned and made sure that I wore my wrist guards. He suggested letting me wear his motorcycle helmet, but I declined.

Once I stood up and attempted to move toward the front door, Dan was sure I shouldn't go. Secretly, I was having my doubts too. Standing on those wheels in the center of my foot was not very comfortable and my feet were really wobbly. I put on a brave front and took off out the door, holding onto the car for dear life as I headed down the driveway.

"This is crazy," I thought. "I almost skated professionally as a kid, this should not be that hard!" I said my good-bye to Dan and headed down the street. I was glad he did not watch me, I felt pretty juvenile.

I started getting some momentum and headed to the end of the block. Along the way I hit a rock and almost fell, but I recovered and hoped no one was watching how silly I looked. I needed to stop several times since my ankles were not used to such torture! The trip back was not as bad as the going and I made it safe and sound to the house. I stumbled inside and threw myself to the floor in exhaustion.

I vowed I would make this attempt again, as I was not going to let "old age" win!!!!!