Touching Note From Mother to Daughter

 My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago"... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issues every day... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

Original text in Spanish by Guillermo Peña.

It SUCKS To Get Old

Yes, been feeling a bit old lately. No, that's a lie. Actually, I have felt this way for several years. I know I am ways away from retirement age, but I am on a fast track to getting there.  With my failing memory, my far sighted-ness forcing me to wear readers to do ANYTHING, and my infinite "wisdom" I feel I have crossed into "over the hill" zone.   It doesn't help that I can admit that I have "teenagers" now and that the nest will be empty in a blink of an eye.

Ho-hum, the depression sets in.....

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

That's The Story Of Life.

~ Unknown

Procrastination - Should I do that now?

Procrastinate? Who me? Never!!!!

I found this cute chart and had to share it.  It's too funny.

I know we all do it.  I don't think there is anyone around who doesn't.  I seem to do more of it lately, now that I am only working part-time.  When I am not at work, there are a multitude of projects around the house that I should be getting done, but I would much rather do it later.

Things I do to procrastinate:

1. Jump on the computer and visit: Facebook, 2 different email accounts, play Farmville, browse through Pintrest, check out my blog, or download music.

2. Grab my Ipad and play any number of games that are awaiting my turn.  

3. Watch one of the many shows I have DVR'd.

4. Nap.

5. See what the kids are doing.

You get the point.....

How about you?  What do you do to procrastinate?

Social Media & How We Lost Our Communication Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someones actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   


One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?


Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

Happiness: What If Something Bad Happens?

I recently read a great article over at Soulseeds that was very inspiring.  It was an article written about 6 happiness tips by Dr. Tal Ben Shaha. One of his thoughts is: Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.  It got me thinking.

I grew up with a lot of negativity that carried into my adult life.  As I get older and wiser, I am trying to learn to be happy and do “things” for myself.

It’s funny, the other day, I awoke to the greatest mood.  I sprung out of bed, I was so happy and full of energy.  But I had this nagging thought that kept popping into my head, “What if something bad happens?  What if it happens because you are so happy?  Don’t get used to this feeling, because soon you will go back to the way you were.”  I realized that I stand in my own way of happiness.  I have had so much “drama” in my life that I don’t know how to just be happy.  I have some work to do!!!

Friends

I have been doing a lot of thinking about friends and the art of having a successful friendship.  I have found that as we grow older, friendships are harder to keep and new friends are hard to come by.  

When we were younger, our relationships were somewhat "forced" because we were stuck in the institution of school and we either got along with people or we were loners during recess, lunch, sporting events, weekends, etc.  As adults, we are in a similar situation with our jobs and our co-workers.  However, now we must all get along, whether we like it or not.  Outside the doors of work, there is a whole world that can be kept completely separate.

Some of us have friends that we have carried from childhood into adulthood and they are our sounding boards, our social buddies and our friends for life.  Many people, like my self, have gained friends and lost friends through re-locations, marriages, relationships, divorces, starting a family, etc.  Everything that life throws at us is a potential deal-breaker for a friendship.  

For many of us, as adults, we are so busy with our lives, being parents and spouses, that we simply don't have time for friends.  Of course, there are different situations and many people find a very happy balance between all of their responsibilities to everyone.


My husband and I were talking about friendships just the other night.  I explained to him that it is hard to find that "perfect" friend who will fulfill all of our friendship needs.  I told him that I have many acquaintances that I have different things in common with.  When we speak, it is always about our common interests and experiences.  Sometimes our conversations are light and friendly and other times, they can be deep and emotional.  It just depends on the common ground that you share with one another.  Are these people that I would hang out with or spend time together?  Probably not.  But that's okay.  We are both getting from each other what we need.  If the occasion arose for us to do something together, at least we have that history we can build on.

In all of our lives, there comes a time when either our kids have gone off to college, we may have switched jobs or we may have suffered a loss in our marriage, that we feel all alone and we need someone to turn to.  This is when I believe in the phrase, "Everything Happens For A Reason".  People are brought into our lives at the most unique and unexpected times and they serve a purpose.  I truly believe this.


Occasionally, I meet a really interesting person and we hit it off.  This may be my new hairstylist, the teller at the bank, the nurse at my doctor's office or my children's teacher.  When I meet them, I think about how nice it is to talk to them and since we seem to get along, I wonder if they could be a potential friend.  But as an adult, I don't know how to expand on our casual conversations without sounding like a stalker.  It reminds me of the funny comedy, "I Love You Man!".  What if the person you are trying to friend thinks you are hitting on them?  What if they reject your offers to get together?  I can think of all sorts of "what if's" that make me timid to pursue anything.  


Why can't it be as easy as jumping in the sandbox and saying, "Will you be my friend?".

My Little Girl Is Growing Up

This is my beautiful, fourteen year-old daughter, Sedona.  She was promoted to high school yesterday.  It was a much anticipated event and surprisingly, I did not cry.  My little girl is growing up and I can't do anything about it other than continue to love her and support her in whatever life will throw at her over these next four years of high school.  Oh, to be young again knowing what I know now (oh, and to have the body I used to have!) lol.....

It Happens To The Best Of Us, My Dear

My almost 13 year-old daughter was looking at old pictures of me from when I was much younger and much thinner. She immediately got this real animated voice and said, "Look at my mom, she is so young!" Similar things were said over, and over again throughout the night as if she could not believe I was ever younger than I am now. She acted as if it was sad that I am now so very old. I told her, "It happens to the best of us, my dear. You too will get old!"

Facebook Is Making Me Think Too Much!

I have been visiting Facebook everyday now for the last several months. I am keeping in touch with old classmates from high school as well as relatives from in and out of state. It's also a great way to build friendships with people I am casually acquainted with.

FB offers picture and video posting. Many of my classmates from high school have posted pictures from back in the day. One guy, Anthony, carried a video camera around school the whole last day of Senior year and captured a lot of great video footage. High school came back to me and started filling my mind with memories. After 20 years, my memory is pretty shot! lol

These memories made me realize something. I thought of myself as a good kid. I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs or party. I never got in trouble and I worried about everything, including the future. Many of the pictures and videos I saw were all of the "party" crowd. It started me thinking that it looked like they had lots of fun being "teenagers". At the time, I looked down my nose at them because they were crazy and not responsible. Plus, I didn't want to get in trouble. I realize that even though I was friends with a lot of people, I missed out on a lot of growing that should have happened back then. Even though those kids did things that they should have got in trouble for, maybe that's what I needed to experience. Instead, I kept busy with school, planning my upcoming wedding and staying involved with Drama. Don't get me wrong, I still went out and did stuff, like cruising and going to movies, etc. But I didn't do the stuff that now looks so fun to me now. Maybe my life would have been different had I been wild and crazy at 17 instead of waiting until my quarter life crisis at 31. I don't know and I guess I will never know. But I am curious how those "crazy kids" are now. Do they still party all the time? What kind of parents are they?

Perhaps I will push my kids to be a little "crazy" during school and not be so hard on them. I know I will encourage them to "have fun" and "be a kid" a little more.

My Son Is Growing Up, And I'm Scared...

This is my baby. He is growing up and becoming a person and I am so scared.

Boys are foreign to me. I don't know boys. How are they supposed to be here in the 2000's? Are they supposed to be obsessed with video games and not want to do anything else? Are they supposed to pick on their older sister? Are they supposed to be moody and depressed about going to school? Are they supposed to not listen? How do you make sure you are doing the right things in raising them? My son is so different from my daughter. Is it fair that I expect him to be as easy to raise and as responsible as his sister - I think not. With my daughter, she was open to my corrections of her attitude and behavior and how to be a person. I would tell her once and she would listen. With Colton, I feel like all I ever do is try to teach and all he ever does is get frustrated with me.

When the kids were little, I read book after book about babies and how to handle them. I guess it's time to open some up again and figure this out. I am tired of feeling guilty. I think I need more alone time with this foreign person so that I can really get to know him and see how he works.