REPOST FROM 2012: Social Media & How We Lost Our Social Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someone's actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   

One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?

Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

20 Things to Say to Encourage Your Children (via Rachel Wojo)

Week before last I wrote a list of 20 things to say to encourage my husband. 7 Ways to Praise Your Husband for 7 Days and 7 Ways to Praise Your Children for 7 Days have been two well-loved articles here on the blog. The power of praise and encouragement…

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Review: The Week The Women Went

Have you watched the new Tuesday night, Lifetime reality series, The Week The Women Went?  I have and I think the concept is a GREAT idea.

Lifetime is following the town of Yemassee, South Carolina as they participate in a daring social experiment.  For one week, all of the women, 18 years old and up, will leave the small town and go to a remote location, one which they don't even know about ahead of time.  The thought is that with all of the women gone, the men and children will need to see if they can perform daily tasks and survive without their "women" to take care of them.

The first episode, very dramatically, shows all of the women in town, walking for what seemed like miles, lugging suit cases behind them down a long road.  It was eerie the way they did this.  It almost reminded me of what I imagine the old leper colonies did back in the middle ages.  Although the women are leaving their loved ones behind, most seemed very excited to get away and have "me" time.  And "me" time was exactly what they got as they all left town on a train and later arrived at a beautiful, tropical resort.  It seems all they will have to worry about is which bathing suit to wear and how many fruity drinks they can consume.  However, get a bunch of women together for a long (or even short) period of time and you can only imagine what kind of drama will prevail. 

Yemassee is a small community where everyone knows everyone.  Many of the women featured run businesses and families which will be left behind for their spouses and teen-age children to maintain and run.  From full-time working dads of twins to a 21-year old fire chief who will miss his mom (who hasn't cut the apron strings) and new fiance, there are many challenges ahead for these families.  I found it amusing that several of the dads of young children decided to move in together while the women were gone.  They figured they would do better handling the kids as a team.  Also, a 24-year old Marine is now responsible for his 31-year old girlfriend's teen-age daughters and tween son.  Boy, do they take advantage of him.  His girlfriend is pretty hot, but she may not be hot enough to keep him after all of this.  And who can forget the 4-year old "grown-up" little girl, Ellie Kate, who demands her coffee every morning.  Wow, is she a character.  It will be interesting to see how her dad copes with her precociousness.  This is also the dad who has been put in charge of coordinating a kid's beauty pageant while the women are gone. 

I look forward to watching this series and I hope you get a chance to watch it too!






 

Social Media & How We Lost Our Communication Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someones actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   


One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?


Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

My Little Girl Is Growing Up

This is my beautiful, fourteen year-old daughter, Sedona.  She was promoted to high school yesterday.  It was a much anticipated event and surprisingly, I did not cry.  My little girl is growing up and I can't do anything about it other than continue to love her and support her in whatever life will throw at her over these next four years of high school.  Oh, to be young again knowing what I know now (oh, and to have the body I used to have!) lol.....

Decisions, Decisions

I recently had a lot to think about and many worries running through my mind.  My husband and I began planning a move from Arizona to Colorado.  The idea behind this move was that we both wanted out of the horrible, Arizona heat and by moving to Colorado, we would be with Dan's family.  

Our timing of this decision was not ideal as school will begin next month.  In order to make the move work, we had so many variables to consider, i.e. jobs, where to live, school for the kids, moving my mom, money, etc.  There were many steps that would need to be taken and so many plans to be made that is was a very overwhelming decision.  I know that people do it all the time, but this was stressful.  On top of everything we had to think about, we had to approach our kid's "other" parents, whom we currently share custody with in Arizona.  Talk about a hard thing to do!

My ex-husband took some time to consider and weight what would be best for our two kids.  Dan's ex-wife literally took four hours and made her decision based, what I believe, was solely on what was best for her.  She said no!  Dan was devastated and put in a position of having to figure out whether moving away from his child was something he could do.  He struggled.  I was still waiting to hear about whether my kids would be able to go and could not even begin to think what I would do if they could not.  Luckily, it did not get that far.

After long talks and stressful feelings, Dan and I came to the decision to stay in Arizona.  I must admit that I was relieved.  Dan was worried I would resent him for not wanting to go through with it, but I was just glad that we made a decision.  I am not one that can stare at a problem and not "do" something about it.  I need action right away.  Don't get me wrong, I do weigh all sides, but I need to see progress and get things either moving or end them.

The tough thing about getting excited over the move was that there was going to be change, lots of it.  I have been craving change for awhile now.  Whether it be change in my job, change in environment, something, I just know I need it!  So, we talked further and decided we would suffer through the heat and find a way to make some changes in our lives that would make us happier people, parents and husband and wife.  And although I am craving change, I am so happy to have most things stay the same.

Facebook Is Making Me Think Too Much!

I have been visiting Facebook everyday now for the last several months. I am keeping in touch with old classmates from high school as well as relatives from in and out of state. It's also a great way to build friendships with people I am casually acquainted with.

FB offers picture and video posting. Many of my classmates from high school have posted pictures from back in the day. One guy, Anthony, carried a video camera around school the whole last day of Senior year and captured a lot of great video footage. High school came back to me and started filling my mind with memories. After 20 years, my memory is pretty shot! lol

These memories made me realize something. I thought of myself as a good kid. I didn't drink, smoke, do drugs or party. I never got in trouble and I worried about everything, including the future. Many of the pictures and videos I saw were all of the "party" crowd. It started me thinking that it looked like they had lots of fun being "teenagers". At the time, I looked down my nose at them because they were crazy and not responsible. Plus, I didn't want to get in trouble. I realize that even though I was friends with a lot of people, I missed out on a lot of growing that should have happened back then. Even though those kids did things that they should have got in trouble for, maybe that's what I needed to experience. Instead, I kept busy with school, planning my upcoming wedding and staying involved with Drama. Don't get me wrong, I still went out and did stuff, like cruising and going to movies, etc. But I didn't do the stuff that now looks so fun to me now. Maybe my life would have been different had I been wild and crazy at 17 instead of waiting until my quarter life crisis at 31. I don't know and I guess I will never know. But I am curious how those "crazy kids" are now. Do they still party all the time? What kind of parents are they?

Perhaps I will push my kids to be a little "crazy" during school and not be so hard on them. I know I will encourage them to "have fun" and "be a kid" a little more.

Crazy News

Did you hear about the 8-year old boy who drove his father's van into a tree?

This alone sounds a little crazy, but it gets better.

On February 8, 2009, in Sarasota, FL an 8-year old boy and his 34-year old father were driving along and the boy ran into a tree with the van that he was driving. When officers arrived at the scene, the father was asked to get out of the vehicle. As he was reaching for his driver's license, he fell to the ground and landed on his face. He told the officers that he was feeling woozy and didn't want to drive so he asked his son to drive. He later stated that he wanted to have a bonding moment with his son.

When officers spoke to the 8-year old boy, they got a different story. The boy claimed that his father took some "liquid medicine" in order to feel better. He then pointed to an empty bottle of Canadian Whiskey in the vehicle.

The father was arrested on child endangerment.

Can you believe this story?

We discussed it at dinner the other night with our 8-year old son. Of course, he was hoping we would say HE could drive now, but we quickly put an end to that idea.

Review of Nintendo's Wii Fit

Dan bought me Nintendo's Wii Fit when it first came out. We were both very excited with the purchase and actively played it for a couple of weeks. If you have not made this small investment for your Wii system (it's about $100), you should. It's a fun activity for the whole family.

Wii Fit is meant to help you improve your balance, get exercise and have fun doing it. There are four core options in Wii Fit: yoga, strength training, balance games and aerobics. Within each of those sections, there are lots of fun, useful activities.

When you start doing Wii Fit, you get to create a character and choose what kind of goal you are trying to acomplish. You will weigh yourself and be able to set up your own, private account. You are given a piggy bank that keeps track of the time you spend doing your workout throughout the system. Everyday you sign in, you will be given an opportunity to do some balance tests and determine your Wii age. You will also get to place a stamp on your calendar if you decide to do certain tests. After each activity, you will get coins in your bank. After thirty minutes of exercise, you will be reminded to take a break. Throughout the game, your Wii Balance Board talks to you and makes exercising fun. In addition, each time you perform an activity, you will see what rank you receive for your efforts. This is a fun tool for motivation. You will also be able to open more activities within each section.

I will start with the funnest section and that is the balance games. There is soccer heading, ski slalom, ski jump and table tilt. There are also more games that open up once you have played more. These include tight-rope walking, a penguin game and a bubble river game. These are all fun to do and help to build balance.

The aerobics section has boxing, step aerobics, running, and hula hoop. Each of those are available in beginner and advanced. If you continue to do several of the activities, without stopping, you will find that you do get a pretty good workout. No workout is more than 5 minutes long, unless you choose an advanced level, and then I believe they might be a little longer.

For the strength training and yoga sections, you will be offered one of two personal trainers who will guide you through each exercise. They are great at encouraging and helping you to perform the exercise properly.

The strength training section which includes various activities, when done in repetitions can be really beneficial. Again, as you continue to perform the exercises, new ones open up.

With the Yoga section you will be given many popular poses to strengthen your body and help find the center of your balance. These include the Warior pose, the Half Moon and the Standing Tree.

As you can see, Nintendo's Wii Fit is fun for the whole family. In my opinion, it is not meant for mega workout freaks, but I think it is a good low-impact type of exercise for anyone who just wants to get off the couch, have fun and get a little bit of a workout.

Teamwork

This picture reminded me of a recent event that left me feeling very emotional.

My daughter had the opportunity to play soccer at a professional stadium. While my son and I were sitting in the stands, the announcer called for everyone to rise and prepare for the singing of the National Anthem. During the song, I looked around at all of the people coming together to appreciate the freedom that we all have as Americans. I saw the men, hat in hand;the children looking toward the flag and then back at their parents as if to make sure they were doing what they were supposed to. I saw the attention that everyone gave, even during the rather long song and I was so very proud to be a part of this group. Somewhere along the way, the tears began to well in my eyes and after the song was over, my 8-year old looked at me and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was happy and proud of where we lived and explained to him the importance of the National Anthem.

I know that it would have been more fitting to have put a picture of the American Flag at the top of this post, but when I saw the spider, the frog and the turtle it reminded me of how great it is when we all come together for the same cause.

Questions for you:

Is there a time where you have felt a part of a team?

What thoughts go through your head during the National Anthem?

Do you want to share a comment? Please let me know what you are thinking.

There Are Headless Men In My Car

I know, the title kind of scared you, huh? Imagine driving along knowing there are decapitated people in your car. In the spirit of Halloween, I think I am aloud to be a bit morbid. After all, a little person that I have birthed and raised is the decapitator of the heads. Colton, my 8-year old son is really into action figures, primarily the ones that come apart. He sleeps, eats and lives by his obsession with "lego guys" and other "guys" he can take apart. Should I be worried? Or should I hope that this interest will later lead him to become a doctor/surgeon who will support me in my old age? In the meantime, I have about half a dozen bodies in my car and their heads rolling around. Happy Halloween!!!!

Re-Post: Parenting

There have been countless debates about parenting styles and practices over the years. From era to era you have to admit, things have definitely changed. I believe that children raised in the 50's, 60's and 70's experienced things a whole lot differently than the kids raised later. It seems that kids raised in the 70's made some pact or vow to be COOL parents and raise our kids with not so many rules. I may be wrong, but the way I was raised back then was perfect. Rules and structure and discipline worked wonders. I was a good kid and teenager. I respected my elders, I did not talk back, I hardly used profanity and I was not promiscuous.

Now days, it seems as if the kids my children play with are from another planet. They are rude, they don't have any manners, they don't listen and they are lazy. I wish my peers would see that there was nothing wrong with the way they were raised. Bring back the days of spankings for horrible behavior, the teaching of manners and respect and the limited time on the computer/video game machine and television. Give them structure and routines and schedules. Talk to them, listen to them and spend time with them. Don't use the television to baby-sit your kids. Stimulate them as people and give them praise and love as much as possible. There is nothing wrong with trying to not be like your parents, but if you turned out okay, then maybe they did did it right!!!!!

Parenting

There have been countless debates about parenting styles and practices over the years. From era to era you have to admit, things have definitely changed. I believe that children raised in the 50's, 60's and 70's experienced things a whole lot differently than the kids raised later. It seems that kids raised in the 70's made some pact or vow to be COOL parents and raise our kids with not so many rules. I may be wrong, but the way I was raised back then was perfect. Rules and structure and discipline worked wonders. I was a good kid and teenager. I respected my elders, I did not talk back, I hardly used profanity and I was not promiscuous.

Now days, it seems as if the kids my children play with are from another planet. They are rude, they don't have any manners, they don't listen and they are lazy. I wish my peers would see that there was nothing wrong with the way they were raised. Bring back the days of spankings for horrible behavior, the teaching of manners and respect and the limited time on the computer/video game machine and television. Give them structure and routines and schedules. Talk to them, listen to them and spend time with them. Don't use the television to baby-sit your kids. Stimulate them as people and give them praise and love as much as possible. There is nothing wrong with trying to not be like your parents, but if you turned out okay, then maybe they did did it right!!!!!

My Son Is Growing Up, And I'm Scared...

This is my baby. He is growing up and becoming a person and I am so scared.

Boys are foreign to me. I don't know boys. How are they supposed to be here in the 2000's? Are they supposed to be obsessed with video games and not want to do anything else? Are they supposed to pick on their older sister? Are they supposed to be moody and depressed about going to school? Are they supposed to not listen? How do you make sure you are doing the right things in raising them? My son is so different from my daughter. Is it fair that I expect him to be as easy to raise and as responsible as his sister - I think not. With my daughter, she was open to my corrections of her attitude and behavior and how to be a person. I would tell her once and she would listen. With Colton, I feel like all I ever do is try to teach and all he ever does is get frustrated with me.

When the kids were little, I read book after book about babies and how to handle them. I guess it's time to open some up again and figure this out. I am tired of feeling guilty. I think I need more alone time with this foreign person so that I can really get to know him and see how he works.