Review: The Week The Women Went

Have you watched the new Tuesday night, Lifetime reality series, The Week The Women Went?  I have and I think the concept is a GREAT idea.

Lifetime is following the town of Yemassee, South Carolina as they participate in a daring social experiment.  For one week, all of the women, 18 years old and up, will leave the small town and go to a remote location, one which they don't even know about ahead of time.  The thought is that with all of the women gone, the men and children will need to see if they can perform daily tasks and survive without their "women" to take care of them.

The first episode, very dramatically, shows all of the women in town, walking for what seemed like miles, lugging suit cases behind them down a long road.  It was eerie the way they did this.  It almost reminded me of what I imagine the old leper colonies did back in the middle ages.  Although the women are leaving their loved ones behind, most seemed very excited to get away and have "me" time.  And "me" time was exactly what they got as they all left town on a train and later arrived at a beautiful, tropical resort.  It seems all they will have to worry about is which bathing suit to wear and how many fruity drinks they can consume.  However, get a bunch of women together for a long (or even short) period of time and you can only imagine what kind of drama will prevail. 

Yemassee is a small community where everyone knows everyone.  Many of the women featured run businesses and families which will be left behind for their spouses and teen-age children to maintain and run.  From full-time working dads of twins to a 21-year old fire chief who will miss his mom (who hasn't cut the apron strings) and new fiance, there are many challenges ahead for these families.  I found it amusing that several of the dads of young children decided to move in together while the women were gone.  They figured they would do better handling the kids as a team.  Also, a 24-year old Marine is now responsible for his 31-year old girlfriend's teen-age daughters and tween son.  Boy, do they take advantage of him.  His girlfriend is pretty hot, but she may not be hot enough to keep him after all of this.  And who can forget the 4-year old "grown-up" little girl, Ellie Kate, who demands her coffee every morning.  Wow, is she a character.  It will be interesting to see how her dad copes with her precociousness.  This is also the dad who has been put in charge of coordinating a kid's beauty pageant while the women are gone. 

I look forward to watching this series and I hope you get a chance to watch it too!






 

The Wedding (February 19, 2012)

Our Wedding - February 19, 2012

For those of you who know, Daniel and I have been together for about 8 years.  We both were previously married and we have children from those marriages.  We have lived together for just about all of those 8 years, so in our eyes, we were married.  Daniel proposed to me many years back, and I was just too chicken to commit to an "official" marriage again. 

On Friday, February 17th at 3:00 PM, I decided I was finally ready to get married to my love, my life, Daniel.  So, in true Jenn fashion, I blurted this out to Daniel, who had just gotten home from work.  We immediately started trying to figure out how we were going to make it work.  With Monday being a holiday, all three of the kids would be out of school and Dan and I could take the day off.  His parents happen to be in AZ for awhile (from CO) so we contacted them to see if they would be able to get away with us and then I called my mom.  Everyone was excited and felt I was a little crazy because in an instant, I had become Bridezilla.

I would like to say our wedding was like the picture above, which would have been my ideal wedding.  But, when you have 3 kids, in-laws, family, dogs, a limited budget, travel and only 24 hours to plan, things are not so picture perfect - lol.

Between 3PM to approximately 12AM, I was in a race to find 3 hotel rooms in Vegas, a wedding chapel, someone to feed our dogs while we were away, find a dress, rings, kids clothes, etc.  I was feeling the stress!

After a few hours of sleep, Daniel and I rushed to Khol's Department Store during their hour of savings promotion and looked for rings and clothes.  After much consideration, we finally found the rings for our wedding.  I must interject in Daniel's defense, we found HIS ring immediately, all the rest of the time, I was being particular about mine - of course, I am the bride *wink*.  My fingers were completely swollen from trying on rings (and the Redbull I woke up to) so I was glad to have made a decision.  Next, we were onto finding shirts for the boys and Daniel.  This was a pretty simple process so out the door we went.

We ran a few quick errands and home to get packed and get everyone ready. 

We set out for Vegas at 10:00 am, right on time (surprising, I know).  We had a stop along the way to get some ice cream, which made the kids very happy.  With two 11 year-old boys and a 15 year-old daughter crammed into the backseat of my Corolla, I must say that the kids did really well.

By now, we had 3 rooms booked at Arizona Charlie's Decatur, a chapel booked at A Special Memory Wedding Chapel, his sister and her daughter getting on a plane to fly out from CO, his parents and my mom getting ready to head to NV.  Everything seemed to be coming together, all that was left was getting our marriage license and to find a dress for me.

Daniel's son has been to Vegas several times, but my kids had not ever been there, so when we arrived during the day, they were not impressed.  They had expected it to look as it does in the movies, with lights and glitter, etc.  Instead, it just looked like Phoenix.  We explained that they would change their minds at night, and sure enough, they did.

We ran some errands while the rooms were being upgraded for us (no charge I might add) and ate a little snack. One of our errands was to get our license.  As we walked up the steps to the court house, we were bombarded by, what felt like, the paparazzi.  Instead of flash bulbs and cameras, we were rushed by photographers, dress rental companies, chapel personnel, limo drivers galore.  Everyone wanted our business and it was REALLY irritating.  We finally got inside the building and quickly got our certificate.  Upon leaving, we had to endure the "crowd" one more time.

Back at the hotel, in our rooms, finally!  Daniel had to go to the airport to pick up his family and by then, our parents had arrived.  A little later, the 10 of us hit the strip in search of, what you might ask?  I wish I could tell you, but I did not know.  There were no agendas that evening other than those of each individual.  Some were the same as others, some were different.  The once Bridezilla that I was had been replaced with the follower of the crowd instead of the leader of the crowd.  In retrospect, Daniel and I should have handled the plans of the weekend a little different, insisting that everyone do their own thing (except our kids) and that we would meet up with everyone at the chapel.  Since there were only two cars in our group of 10, this made that difficult.  

We started out at the MGM and ended up at New York, NY.  The group wanted to ride the roller coaster, which they did.  A few of us stayed in the arcade while the boys played games.  My stomach was too nervous to attempt the coaster, but to my surprise, my mom road it.  After that adventure, we had to find a place for the 10 of us to eat. 

Finding a dress was the only thing on my mind at this time.  I didn't want to outshine Daniel, who would be wearing black slacks and a blue, button up dress shirt.  But I wanted to be beautiful and elegant.  Being 40 pounds overweight, I knew this would be difficult.  The longer I put off finding a dress, the more stressed I became.

After dinner, my mom stayed behind at a casino since walking the strip was not her cup of tea.  I wish at that moment I would have made my own decisions about the rest of the night and finding a dress, but instead, I set off walking with the group.  As it turned out, there was a giant, 3-story Ross store on the other side of the street so I was happy that I would get to go look for my dress there.  As we continued our walk, we found out that the group was heading to the Bellagio to watch the water show.  Along the way, while steering our 11 and 15 year-olds through the crowd, we were trampling over gobs of pornography littering the streets and being handed to passers by.  The boys were enjoying the scenery I think - lol.

After the show, we crossed to the other side of the street.  At 11:00 PM, we got to the front doors of Ross only to find that they had just closed.  No dress for me!  Back to the car we go.

Sunday morning my mom, my daughter, Sedona and I headed out to find a dress.  Daniel, the boys and the others ate and went back to the strip.  Our wedding was scheduled for 2:00 PM.

I knew that there was a mall called The Fashion Show not far from where we were staying, but getting gas put into the car was first priority.  Using my handy-dandy GPS app on my Iphone was not as reliable as it usually was in Arizona.  After trying to find a gas station for nearly 15 minutes, we came upon a AM/PM and filled er' up.  We got to the mall (surprisingly) fairly quick and determined that it would not be open until 11:00 AM - this was cutting it close.  We got some breakfast and while Sedona and my mom did some of their own shopping, I ran through the mall trying to find any stores that were opening early.  I went into Macy's at 11 AM and found their gown section.  I gathered many and took them into the dressing room.  

What I had in my mind for a dress, what I found and how they looked on me were all different things.  My anxiety (and maybe the burrito  I had for breakfast) were all taking effect on me.  The clock was ticking and I was not happy.  I tried using my cell phone to call Sedona and my mom, but there was no service in the stinking mall!  Tears were forming, I was panicking and not finding anything that looked good.  I left Macy's and found my family.  I began to cry and was comforted by my mom.  I explained everything I had just been through and that for the price I was going to pay for something that I was not completely happy with, I might as well wear the back-up outfit that I had brought for "just in case".  We agreed and headed off to find some hose to go with the black skirt and pretty blue top I had waiting back at the hotel.  A vendor along the way stated that I had bags under my eyes (no shit!), no sleep, stress and day-old makeup will do that to you.  We passed by a Bare Minerals store and got the brilliant idea to get a quick (40 minute) make-over.  All the while I am looking at the clock, panicking and trying to hold back tears (still had to find those hose too!).  After my make-over (which was beautiful, I must say), we finally found the hose and headed to the car.  The time was now about 12:45 and I wanted to be at the chapel by 1:30 - this was NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  

Getting back to the hotel was fairly quick, it did not hurt that I was breaking the land speed record.  In route, we received a few calls from our group, informing us that we were going to be late - REALLY?  We imagined them all thinking that we were just lolly-gagging around - if they had only known all that we had been through!  We parked the car and ran to the hotel (literally) and up to our floor.  As we got out of the elevator (at about 1:30), our whole group, was sitting in the lobby with angry and disappointed looks on their faces.  This is what "we" saw, but they swear that is not the case. 

In the room, I am crying and trying to quickly get into my outfit.  Daniel came into the room and tried to calm me down.  He stated that he pushed back the wedding (for an additional fee) and that everything would be alright.  This man had amazing patience - my husband to be.  He assisted me in getting my uncooperative blouse on, which alone was comical.

Where were my shoes????  Oh, no!  I had forgotten my shoes!  I NEVER forget anything, so I could not believe this and wasted time trying to find them.  We determined that the shoes were not there and that we would need to stop at a store to get some.  Great!  More time wasted.  Forget about doing something pretty with my hair - but at least I had make-up on.

We arrived at the chapel, which was lovely.  The ceremony was quick but memorable.   The pastor quoted 1 Corinthians 13:4 ( Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud) which happens to be one of my favorite verses.  After, we took pictures, inside and outside.  It was a windy day, so this posed some challenges for the photographer and my hair.  

Later, we all went to dinner, gambling and bowling.  It was an AWESOME day and I was so relieved that the stress was over.

We have wonderful memories from our experience and although it was stressful, my loving, patient husband and I got through it TOGETHER and we were so glad we were able to share it with some of our loved ones.

Friends

I have been doing a lot of thinking about friends and the art of having a successful friendship.  I have found that as we grow older, friendships are harder to keep and new friends are hard to come by.  

When we were younger, our relationships were somewhat "forced" because we were stuck in the institution of school and we either got along with people or we were loners during recess, lunch, sporting events, weekends, etc.  As adults, we are in a similar situation with our jobs and our co-workers.  However, now we must all get along, whether we like it or not.  Outside the doors of work, there is a whole world that can be kept completely separate.

Some of us have friends that we have carried from childhood into adulthood and they are our sounding boards, our social buddies and our friends for life.  Many people, like my self, have gained friends and lost friends through re-locations, marriages, relationships, divorces, starting a family, etc.  Everything that life throws at us is a potential deal-breaker for a friendship.  

For many of us, as adults, we are so busy with our lives, being parents and spouses, that we simply don't have time for friends.  Of course, there are different situations and many people find a very happy balance between all of their responsibilities to everyone.


My husband and I were talking about friendships just the other night.  I explained to him that it is hard to find that "perfect" friend who will fulfill all of our friendship needs.  I told him that I have many acquaintances that I have different things in common with.  When we speak, it is always about our common interests and experiences.  Sometimes our conversations are light and friendly and other times, they can be deep and emotional.  It just depends on the common ground that you share with one another.  Are these people that I would hang out with or spend time together?  Probably not.  But that's okay.  We are both getting from each other what we need.  If the occasion arose for us to do something together, at least we have that history we can build on.

In all of our lives, there comes a time when either our kids have gone off to college, we may have switched jobs or we may have suffered a loss in our marriage, that we feel all alone and we need someone to turn to.  This is when I believe in the phrase, "Everything Happens For A Reason".  People are brought into our lives at the most unique and unexpected times and they serve a purpose.  I truly believe this.


Occasionally, I meet a really interesting person and we hit it off.  This may be my new hairstylist, the teller at the bank, the nurse at my doctor's office or my children's teacher.  When I meet them, I think about how nice it is to talk to them and since we seem to get along, I wonder if they could be a potential friend.  But as an adult, I don't know how to expand on our casual conversations without sounding like a stalker.  It reminds me of the funny comedy, "I Love You Man!".  What if the person you are trying to friend thinks you are hitting on them?  What if they reject your offers to get together?  I can think of all sorts of "what if's" that make me timid to pursue anything.  


Why can't it be as easy as jumping in the sandbox and saying, "Will you be my friend?".

Decisions, Decisions

I recently had a lot to think about and many worries running through my mind.  My husband and I began planning a move from Arizona to Colorado.  The idea behind this move was that we both wanted out of the horrible, Arizona heat and by moving to Colorado, we would be with Dan's family.  

Our timing of this decision was not ideal as school will begin next month.  In order to make the move work, we had so many variables to consider, i.e. jobs, where to live, school for the kids, moving my mom, money, etc.  There were many steps that would need to be taken and so many plans to be made that is was a very overwhelming decision.  I know that people do it all the time, but this was stressful.  On top of everything we had to think about, we had to approach our kid's "other" parents, whom we currently share custody with in Arizona.  Talk about a hard thing to do!

My ex-husband took some time to consider and weight what would be best for our two kids.  Dan's ex-wife literally took four hours and made her decision based, what I believe, was solely on what was best for her.  She said no!  Dan was devastated and put in a position of having to figure out whether moving away from his child was something he could do.  He struggled.  I was still waiting to hear about whether my kids would be able to go and could not even begin to think what I would do if they could not.  Luckily, it did not get that far.

After long talks and stressful feelings, Dan and I came to the decision to stay in Arizona.  I must admit that I was relieved.  Dan was worried I would resent him for not wanting to go through with it, but I was just glad that we made a decision.  I am not one that can stare at a problem and not "do" something about it.  I need action right away.  Don't get me wrong, I do weigh all sides, but I need to see progress and get things either moving or end them.

The tough thing about getting excited over the move was that there was going to be change, lots of it.  I have been craving change for awhile now.  Whether it be change in my job, change in environment, something, I just know I need it!  So, we talked further and decided we would suffer through the heat and find a way to make some changes in our lives that would make us happier people, parents and husband and wife.  And although I am craving change, I am so happy to have most things stay the same.

Where Did Jennie Go?

It happened like a snap in my head. What happened to Jennie? Where did she go? When was she replaced by this boring, fat, depressed woman? I have known for sometime that I have been depressed. I have been allowing myself to wallow and be sad, and all the while trying to not appear so to my friends, family and co-workers.

Depression is a scary thing and can do all sorts of crazy things to your life. Unfortunately, the one thing that it can do, which is make you lose lots of weight, did just the opposite with me. Food has become a sense of entertainment for me, as well as losing myself in television shows and playing endless hours of video games. Now, don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with doing those things, in fact, I really enjoy them. But when you prefer to stay home and alienate yourself from any relationships that you have, there is a problem.

One of my biggest issues has been my never-ending struggle with my weight over the last 3 years. The pounds continue to be put on and my will-power gets weaker. I guess I felt that if I weighed a lot, and looked less attractive, that meant I was less of a person. I know that this is wrong, but being a skinny person all my life, loving the attention that the opposite sex always gave me, made it really hard to believe that person was gone. Now, I notice that because of my weight gain, I could possibly have some health issues that come with the weight.

I have always been someone who doesn't ask for help and thinks that she knows herself better than any therapist could. And, when you lose all of your friendships and have no one to talk to any more about issues, I think it's time to seek help.

So, my vow to myself is to seek out a therapist who can help me to be a happier, healthier person, not only for myself but for my family. I know that I am not alone and that others have gotten through this, so I know that there is hope.

Thanks for listening, my blog audience!!

When Will I Ever Learn?

When will I ever learn? If you want your hair to look good, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and pay someone for their help.

Several years ago, I made a major hair color mistake. I am a natural blond who decided to try to go black. This process was a nightmare as I attempted to do the transformation myself. After several boxes of color, having gray hair, etc., I finally got the black that I was trying to achieve. Unfortunately, I did not like it on me and decided to change it back ----that day. The trek going back from black to blond was even worse than my dying experience before. By the end of the day, I think I had done my hair a good 8-10 times. It's a wonder I had any hair left. I did seek the help of a Sally's Beauty Supply expert who guided me to fix all my errors. I vowed never to do that again.

Well, my vow did not last and this April, I decided to go from blond to medium dark brown. The process was not real difficult and after attempting a few different shades, I was happy and everyone seemed to like the new me.

The new me lasted about 3 months, until the other day when I decided to go back to blond. Did I go pay a professional to help me make the transition painless? NOOOOOO! Instead, I thought I could save money and do it myself. By the time I was through, however, I had spent about what I would have at a salon. I tried to remember all of my mistakes from before, but still went through about 4 processes, before I went to Sally's again and got some final advice. I went from brown to light brown, to orange to orange to red and then finally my roots went to very yellow and the rest of my hair is a dirty blond with a little strawberry in it. But, rest assured, throughout the process, I did use a very good conditioner.

Am I happy? No! But, I will live with it for a month and I hope by then, my hair will be healed and I can finally achieve the blond that I want. Did I learn my lesson? Yeah, because I HATE hearing my husband say "I TOLD YOU SO" over and over again. lol

Presents or Money?

I heard an interesting topic the other morning on my way to work. A valley Disc Jockey was asking the question, "Given the economy, would you prefer to receive money (gift card) or a present from your loved ones?"


I have thoughts about this, of course. Putting aside that the holiday is about giving and not receiving, I think it is wonderful to receive something that you want. Those that know me the best claim they have no idea what I want. I understand, I really do. I don't ever really want anything, but I would love to buy something, and have the means to do so, when I see it. I also know that if I were to buy them something that I think they might like, I might make a mistake.


So what's wrong with giving money or a gift card? Some will say that it takes away from gift giving and that you should put a lot of thought into what the person wants. I agree with this as well. However, some people, like myself, are hard to buy for. I am not offended if someone gets me a gift card and I always welcome money. Another comment I heard on the radio show was that someone might spend less on a present, but feel obligated to give more when money is being given.


How do you feel about this? What are your thoughts?

Taking A Chance

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to agree to take a chance on something. It may be that we buy that dollar lottery ticket, drink the milk that's expired or drive a different route to work. Regardless, we are taking a chance on change, newness and the un-known and with that, we have to TRUST.

How far are we willing to go to trust our instincts? We may trust our health our finances or our reputation and so on. But what happens when we decided to trust our heart????? Hmmmmm..... that's a tough one. No matter how well we know ourselves, our heart has it's own agenda and doesn't always listen to logic.

Your heart may have been taken out, thrown to the ground, stomped on and broken. You may have felt that you would never be able to use it again. And, as time goes on, you have to learn to let it live, breath and trust. It's one of the most difficult things in the world to do. And, when you are face-to-face with the person who abused your heart and they are asking if they can help fix what they did to it and nurture it back to health, are you willing to take that chance?