The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

I am reading an interesting book that I have been meaning to read for the last few years.  I purchased it in hopes of learning more about relationships and to help me better understand exactly what makes me and others "tick".

Author, Gary Chapman, explains in his book that there are 5 Love Languages.  I have mentioned them below along with some of my own comments and insights:

1. Words of Affirmation: People like to be complimented, praised and encouraged.  They like to hear kind words that help build them up and make them happy.  They don't like to hear demanding words.  Focus on how important words are.
2. Quality Time: Loved ones enjoy spending time with each other.  They appreciate your full attention and interest.  They like to experience fun adventures or quiet times with you.  Dialogue is important to keep things interesting.
3. Receiving Gifts:  Some people feel love when they are taken care of and given gifts.  Gifts can be visual symbols of love and show that someone was thinking of you.  This is derived from the marriage ceremony when rings are exchanged.  Some feel this act is very important.
4. Acts of Service: Having someone do something that you would like them to do is another way of feeling loved.  Having a meal cooked, pants hemmed, laundry cleaned, are all examples of service.  Personally, I feel that this is most men.  Men like to be taken care of and this came from the care that was given to them by their mothers.  It's important to remember that requests give direction on how to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
5. Physical Touch:  Touching is not limited to one localized are of the body.  Tiny tactile receptors are located throughout the body.  When those receptors are touched or pressed, nerves carry impulses to the brain.  The brain interprets these impulses and we perceive that the thing that touched us is warm or cold, hard or soft.  It causes pain or pleasure.  Some people feel love at the hands of another which is why some enjoy casual flings and one night stands.

I think that many people, like myself, feel loved with each of these languages and not just one.  However, there is usually one that is more important that another, and that is what should be focused on in your relationship.

What is your language of love?

It's okay to dream.....

Topics: Business Tips & What Are My Plans

I thought I would do another post using my list book.  Here are the two pages that I randomly turned to:


From the book, List Yourself (Listmaking as the Way to Self-Discovery), written by Ilene Segalove & Paul Bob Velick:


List your most valued business tips, terms, lessons and weapons:

• You must stay organized
• Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them
• You don't always have to have an answer.  
• CYA (Cover Your Ass)
• Document, Document, Document
• Use post-it notes to remember things
• Use a day planner
• Save all voice-mail, just in case
• If someone plays the stupid card and asks you the same questions you answered before, copy and paste your previous response to show them that you already covered that question.
• Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine 

List the ideas, projects, or jobs that are in your thoughts at the present time (no business talk, just personal):

• Blog more
• Do more movie review blogs
• Organize my room a little better
• Make more jewelry
• Go see a past-life reader
• Read more
• EXERCISE
• Eat better
• Limit alcohol
• Lose 10 pounds to start, then 40 more
• Write a book
• Get out more

Now it's your turn....

Positivity - It's All In How You Look At Things

I get notifications from a page I like on Facebook, Power Of Positivity.  They have all sorts of great stories and hint/tips for living a positive life.  One story in particular caught my attention and I wanted to share the main message.

Sometimes, something bad happens to us or someone we love and all we can focus on is the tragedy of things or negativity toward the situation.

"There was a story of a man who was working in a convenience store one evening.  He was not supposed to work that night, but the manager asked him to cover the shift.  While all was going as expected, a masked man came into the store and demanded money from the clerk.  Although the clerk did nothing to provoke the robber, he was beaten severely.  

After being rushed to the hospital, the young man was put through a series of tests, including a CAT scan.  This evening was a horrible experience for the clerk and he could not help but think about why this happened to him.  He was angered and resentful for what he had been put through.

Moments later, the doctor came in to discuss the test results.  The CAT scan showed that the victim of the beating actually had a brain tumor that was luckily caught in time.  Because it was found so early in its stage, it was operable and later removed.  They had said that if it had not been caught, he would have went to sleep one night and not be able to wake up. Although the situation was devastating, it actually saved this man's life."

How many things have happened to you that you later realized happened for a reason?  I know I have had a lot of turmoil throughout my life and when I look back, I see why and what I needed to learn from the situation.  I have tried to change my way of thinking about bad stuff, and have tried to look for the lesson.

My Grandmother was 85 years old and got around very good for being in her eighties.  She walked to the grocery store daily and cleaned house all week long.  One day, she was taking the garbage can to the curb when she stumbled and fell.  She was taken to the doctor.  The doctor had a concern about what made her fall.  No one thought anything of it.  However, after running tests, the doctor found that she had stage four cancer.  The strong, stubborn woman that I had known all of my life decided at that moment to give up. She withdrew from all of us, didn't want to talk to anyone and didn't want to do anything.  She also quit eating and drinking.  She basically shut down.  Several months later, my Grandma passed away.  

Now, I am not saying that how she chose to live out her final days was wrong.  In fact, I could not imagine what it would be like to learn of such a horrible disease ending my life.  However, I believe the negative situation and the way she handled it shortened her life dramatically.  And all of this happened because she fell while taking the garbage out.

In summary, things are not always as they seem.  And to sound very cliche' - everything happens for a reason.  It's not what is happening, it is how you handle it.

Visit The Power of Positivity  website to read all of their wonderful stories and insights.

Hello Again!

Well, it's been just a little bit since we have seen each other.  In fact, the time flies pretty fast now days.  Work is super busy, kids are growing quickly, school is almost half way over and Christmas is approaching.  With all that being said, is it okay if I try my hardest to NOT feel guilty that I am relaxing today?

Love,

Me

Everything is "SUPER"

You use them everyday (unless you are a recluse and you never do any communicating).  You use them to modify a noun (person, place or thing) - YES, I am talking about ADJECTIVES.  These little sentence helpers help to draw attention to our listeners.

It seems that I have an "adjective" of the month, which I don't know how I got stuck on, that is: SUPER.  I find myself using it to describe just about anything I like.  I find myself using this word almost to the degree of being annoying (ever felt like that?).  So, I thought it would be interesting to share some adjectives with you in hopes that YOU TOO can make some attention grabbing sentences :)

Today's word is:
 
HAPPY: 

1.  Blessed
2.  Blissful
3.  Chipper
4.  Cheerful
5.  Delighted
6.  Elated
7.  Gay
8.  Jolly
9.  Merry
10. Thrilled

The next time someone asks you, "How are you today?" reply with one of these.

Review: A Few Email Subscriptions That I Have

Well, HELLO there!  It's been a little while.....Life, job, kids, family, you've heard all the excuses.

I have been cleaning up my email inbox and realized that I have a lot of subscriptions to websites that I simply am not interested in anymore (I am sure that I can speak for many of us).  I came across several that I really look forward to reading and I thought I would share them with you:

 

Be Happy  (www.behappy.me) - This website is filled with great, motivational quotes including the one above.  They are laid out in a poster format and are available for purchase if you want to hang them up or you can copy and paste them for free as computer backgrounds, greeting cards, etc.  What I really like is that you can use these as Facebook covers and the website even prepares them for you and all you have to do is connect through Facebook and upload.

This is an example of an email that I received:

To live, love, and be happy, forevermore, Jennifer, just decide to be from this moment forward.

Tallyho,
    The Universe

I receive these cool emails from Mike Dooley by signing up on his website Tut (Letters From The Universe) (www.tut.com).  These "Notes From The Universe" are super cool and really resonate with whatever is going on currently in my life.  Plus, it's neat to feel that the Universe is talking directly to me.  The founder of the website, Mike Dooley, is a philosophical master who founded Adventurers Club on the Internet that's now home to over 500,000 members from over 185 countries.  He writes inspirational books and he is one of the teachers in the international bestseller The Secret.

Who doesn't have Facebook?  If you don't, disregard this information.  However, if you are like me and enjoy telling the world what's going on in your life, sharing pictures with family, catching up with classmates, you will get a kick out of this next share:

Everyday Me  (www.everyday.me)

I love getting emails that remind me what was going on in MY life years ago.  In our busy lives, it's hard to remember, but with this cool app through Itunes, I get a reminder of the posts that I made years ago from my Facebook timeline.

Everyday.me is a smart timeline journal to capture all your life moments, including your activities across the web.

• Private by default - Collect every thought privately and safely.
• Never lose anything - Everything is backed up online.
• Capture the moment - Photos, Videos, Emotions, Tags, Search, and more.
• Where were you a year ago? Find out with our "Blast from the Past".

Future Me  (www.futureme.org)

I LOVE THIS WEBSITE!!!!  Many years ago I found this and decided to send a letter to my "future" self.  I wrote a letter to be read one year later.  As the months passed, I forgot all about this letter.  To my surprise, one year later, I received an email from myself.  It was a little Erie reading it 365 days later but as I read on, I thought about how cool it was to see how much my life had changed in that year's time.  I decided to this every year after that and have also begun sending these letters to my loved ones so that they too get a message from me.  Who knows, maybe after my time on earth is through, my loved ones will still get to hear from me (I know, a little morbid, but SO cool).

From their website:    "So send your future self some words of inspiration. Or maybe give 'em swift kick in the pants. Or just share some thoughts on where you'll or what you'll be up to in a year, three years...more? And then we'll do some time travel magic and deliver the letter to you. FutureYou, that is."

Well, this wraps up my post.  I hope you explore the various, cool email subscriptions that I enjoy using and I know you will too!

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover, or even a complete stranger), but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason.

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count.

Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish.

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Most importantly, if you LOVE someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

And learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

That's The Story Of Life.

~ Unknown

Great Video - 23 and 1/2 Hours: What is the Single Best Thing We Can Do For Our Health?

I came across a video by Dr. Mike Evans.  This is a really great video that is informative and entertaining.  The illustrations are awesome to watch (done by Liisa Sorsa).  The video talks about how important it is to "be active".  Take 10 minutes to watch this - it could change your life!!

Are you Happy?

I thought I would share.  I do not have permission to use this photo, and I can't tell who I would get it from.  However, I thought that it was straight, and to the point. 

Make sense to you?

  Happy 11/11/11 &

Veteran's Day. 

Happiness: What If Something Bad Happens?

I recently read a great article over at Soulseeds that was very inspiring.  It was an article written about 6 happiness tips by Dr. Tal Ben Shaha. One of his thoughts is: Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.  It got me thinking.

I grew up with a lot of negativity that carried into my adult life.  As I get older and wiser, I am trying to learn to be happy and do “things” for myself.

It’s funny, the other day, I awoke to the greatest mood.  I sprung out of bed, I was so happy and full of energy.  But I had this nagging thought that kept popping into my head, “What if something bad happens?  What if it happens because you are so happy?  Don’t get used to this feeling, because soon you will go back to the way you were.”  I realized that I stand in my own way of happiness.  I have had so much “drama” in my life that I don’t know how to just be happy.  I have some work to do!!!

Friends

I have been doing a lot of thinking about friends and the art of having a successful friendship.  I have found that as we grow older, friendships are harder to keep and new friends are hard to come by.  

When we were younger, our relationships were somewhat "forced" because we were stuck in the institution of school and we either got along with people or we were loners during recess, lunch, sporting events, weekends, etc.  As adults, we are in a similar situation with our jobs and our co-workers.  However, now we must all get along, whether we like it or not.  Outside the doors of work, there is a whole world that can be kept completely separate.

Some of us have friends that we have carried from childhood into adulthood and they are our sounding boards, our social buddies and our friends for life.  Many people, like my self, have gained friends and lost friends through re-locations, marriages, relationships, divorces, starting a family, etc.  Everything that life throws at us is a potential deal-breaker for a friendship.  

For many of us, as adults, we are so busy with our lives, being parents and spouses, that we simply don't have time for friends.  Of course, there are different situations and many people find a very happy balance between all of their responsibilities to everyone.


My husband and I were talking about friendships just the other night.  I explained to him that it is hard to find that "perfect" friend who will fulfill all of our friendship needs.  I told him that I have many acquaintances that I have different things in common with.  When we speak, it is always about our common interests and experiences.  Sometimes our conversations are light and friendly and other times, they can be deep and emotional.  It just depends on the common ground that you share with one another.  Are these people that I would hang out with or spend time together?  Probably not.  But that's okay.  We are both getting from each other what we need.  If the occasion arose for us to do something together, at least we have that history we can build on.

In all of our lives, there comes a time when either our kids have gone off to college, we may have switched jobs or we may have suffered a loss in our marriage, that we feel all alone and we need someone to turn to.  This is when I believe in the phrase, "Everything Happens For A Reason".  People are brought into our lives at the most unique and unexpected times and they serve a purpose.  I truly believe this.


Occasionally, I meet a really interesting person and we hit it off.  This may be my new hairstylist, the teller at the bank, the nurse at my doctor's office or my children's teacher.  When I meet them, I think about how nice it is to talk to them and since we seem to get along, I wonder if they could be a potential friend.  But as an adult, I don't know how to expand on our casual conversations without sounding like a stalker.  It reminds me of the funny comedy, "I Love You Man!".  What if the person you are trying to friend thinks you are hitting on them?  What if they reject your offers to get together?  I can think of all sorts of "what if's" that make me timid to pursue anything.  


Why can't it be as easy as jumping in the sandbox and saying, "Will you be my friend?".

Repost: 15 Tips To Stay Positive

This is a re-post of a great article written by Donald Latumahina on his blog, Life Optimizer and with permission, I am sharing it with you:


There are times when we must go through negative situations. Maybe people say something negative about us, or they show rejection or even resentment against us. In such situations, it may be difficult to stay positive. We may be inclined to react negatively to them. That won’t do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse. People may behave even more negatively to us. Our day would be filled with anger and disappointment. At the end, nobody wins.

Though it’s not easy, it’s important to stay positive in negative situations. Beat the negative situations by staying positive. Here are 15 tips on how to do it; pick the ones that work for you:

1. Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don’t respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.

2. Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.

3. Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation.

4. Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

5. Look at the content of what people say to you for something positive that you can act upon to improve yourself. Don’t just reject the whole messages.

6. For the rest of the messages which is negative, simply ignore it.

7. Maintain positive view of the people. Maybe you don’t like their messages or behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you can hate them personally.

8. Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.

9. If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.

10. If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

11. If you can, listen to motivational audio program to feed positive thoughts into your mind.

12. Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you.

13. Remember your favorite quotes to give you inspiration and motivation. This is one reason why you should have quote of the day.

14. Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be, so you’d better be prepared for them.

15. Realize that you can’t please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go. Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

Why I Am Thankful

As the holidays are approaching, I can't help but think of everything that I have to be thankful for. I try to do this on a daily basis during my morning commute to work, but I felt it important to write it down. Hopefully someone will read this blog and decide to do the same thing. Then, if more people become grateful for the life that they have, the world will be a happier, more positive place.

So, here I am to explain what I am happy for:

* I am thankful for my wonderful family, who give me so much love and joy. I am thankful for their good health and for knowing they are safe.

* I am thankful for my friends, who have known me all these years and still love me.

* I am thankful for having a man who loves me inside and out, who wants to give me his all and who looks forward to our future.

* I am thankful for the realiable car, that gets me to my job that I love, which helps me pay my bills.

* I am thankful for the home that I live in which is filled with lots of love.

* I am thankful for my computer and that I have an outlet to release my thoughts and emotions.

I know there are many other things I am thankful for and I will never forget them.

Happy Holidays!!!!!