Wednesday, November 4, 2015

What I Have Learned From Tinder

Okay, so, it's not the Tinder "flame" but I didn't want the photo to be taken down for copyright issues.


If you are single and you have a smart phone, you have probably heard of TINDER and you PROBABLY have used the App.  Here is what I have learned while using the "hook up" App (as most people would describe it).

1. You can only use TINDER if you connect it to your Facebook or Instagram accounts.

2. TINDER is not a website, it is an actual App that must be downloaded.

3. You will get NOWHERE unless you post photos of yourself.

4. Said photos can only come from either one (or both) of your shared social media sites described above. 

5. People use a variety of photos to attract a "mate", "B/F", "G/F", "NSA (no strings attached)", "DTF (Down to F****)", "hook up", etc.

6.  Examples of photos:
  • Person with a dog/cat
  • Person with a child
  • Person in a photo with 5 other people
  • Person taking a picture in front of a bathroom mirror
  • Person taking a picture of themselves laying in bed
  • Person with their spouse/significant other
  • Person with their spouse/significant other cropped out of photo
  • Person's mugshot photo
  • Person holding a beer or some other alcohol
  • Person lifting weights
  • Person making hand signs and wearing gold chains
  • A pet - only
  • A penis, breasts or other body parts
  • Person with their grandparents
  • Person who's photo is blurry beyond reason
  • Person who is wearing sunglasses
  • Person wearing a hat pulled down over their eyes
  • A cartoon or crude statement
 7. People all seem to love to hike, hang out and watch Netflix, enjoy their 420 time or they are making up crazy activities that you know that no one has ever done.

8. People are looking for: 

  • Someone to hike with
  • Someone to "see how things go" with
  • Sex
  • No strings attached
  • Husband and wife are looking for a third for their relationship
  • Many are new to the area and want a tour guide
  • Did I say sex?
  • Someone who works out and is into fitness (code for someone who is not fat and lazy)
  • No hook-ups, only looking for their soul-mate
 9. The goal for guys is to quickly get the girl's telephone number so they can text them dirty photos.

10. TINDER is a numbers game and the goal is to swipe left (or push the X) if you don't like the person/photo or swipe right (push the heart) if you do like them.  There is also a SUPER LIKE option, but I am not really sure what difference there is

11. Sometimes you can get to going so fast that you accidentally "NO" someone that you didn't mean to.

12. People will disappear as quickly and easily as they appeared.

13. Most men cannot seem to form sentences.  And if they do, they either only want to talk about themselves or talk about sharing naked photos.

14. GHOSTING is a term used when you meet up with someone, have sex with them, believe you have had a great time and that you have a future with the person and then never hear from them again. 

15. UPDATE: I have also learned that my "husband" is on TINDER - I can't wait for our divorce to be final!!!

TINDER is not for everyone but if you enjoy "playing" the game, it can be quite entertaining.
 
 

 



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