REPOST FROM 2012: Social Media & How We Lost Our Social Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someone's actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   

One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?

Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

I am reading an interesting book that I have been meaning to read for the last few years.  I purchased it in hopes of learning more about relationships and to help me better understand exactly what makes me and others "tick".

Author, Gary Chapman, explains in his book that there are 5 Love Languages.  I have mentioned them below along with some of my own comments and insights:

1. Words of Affirmation: People like to be complimented, praised and encouraged.  They like to hear kind words that help build them up and make them happy.  They don't like to hear demanding words.  Focus on how important words are.
2. Quality Time: Loved ones enjoy spending time with each other.  They appreciate your full attention and interest.  They like to experience fun adventures or quiet times with you.  Dialogue is important to keep things interesting.
3. Receiving Gifts:  Some people feel love when they are taken care of and given gifts.  Gifts can be visual symbols of love and show that someone was thinking of you.  This is derived from the marriage ceremony when rings are exchanged.  Some feel this act is very important.
4. Acts of Service: Having someone do something that you would like them to do is another way of feeling loved.  Having a meal cooked, pants hemmed, laundry cleaned, are all examples of service.  Personally, I feel that this is most men.  Men like to be taken care of and this came from the care that was given to them by their mothers.  It's important to remember that requests give direction on how to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
5. Physical Touch:  Touching is not limited to one localized are of the body.  Tiny tactile receptors are located throughout the body.  When those receptors are touched or pressed, nerves carry impulses to the brain.  The brain interprets these impulses and we perceive that the thing that touched us is warm or cold, hard or soft.  It causes pain or pleasure.  Some people feel love at the hands of another which is why some enjoy casual flings and one night stands.

I think that many people, like myself, feel loved with each of these languages and not just one.  However, there is usually one that is more important that another, and that is what should be focused on in your relationship.

What is your language of love?

Life Changing Phone Calls

Life changing telephone calls happen all of the time and they have such a big impact in our lives that we never really stop to think what life would be like if you never answered the call.

Some examples of historical and infamous calls are: 

1. Thomas Edison to Thomas Watson, in 1876 - "Watson, come here, I need you!"
2. Richard Nixon to The Moon, in 1969 - calling Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong as they set foot on the moon.
3. Security guard, Frank Wills to D.C. Police, in 1972 - Reporting suspicious behaviour at the Watergate Complex.

I am sure there have been many more, and some life changing calls in each of our lives, that today we can reflect back on.  Some of mine are:

1.  At five years old, I was watching Pete's Dragon at the movie theater with my Dad, when we got the call that my Grandma had just had her final heart-attack.  I never got to know my Grandma Joanne, but I heard she was a great lady.
2. At 16, I came home from work, after meeting a really cute guy.  I got a call from him and that lead to our marriage, relocation to and from California, our two children and later our divorce.
3. Multiple different calls lead to my finding out of the passing of loved ones, including my Grandma, my Grandpa, my Sister's Mom, both of my ex-in-laws and more.  Sadly, these are not good life changes, but they made a difference in many lives.
4. At 31, being broken up with by a long-distance boyfriend, at 33, finding out by "the other woman" that my new love interest had cheated on me, at 35, announcing to my mom that I was engaged again.
5. At 42, getting a job offer that brought me to a new career that makes me very happy.

These are just some examples of telephone calls that changed my life.  What were some of yours?  Oh, I guess we didn't even address TEXT messages that changed our lives, that will be for another day.

Topics: Business Tips & What Are My Plans

I thought I would do another post using my list book.  Here are the two pages that I randomly turned to:


From the book, List Yourself (Listmaking as the Way to Self-Discovery), written by Ilene Segalove & Paul Bob Velick:


List your most valued business tips, terms, lessons and weapons:

• You must stay organized
• Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them and then tell them what you told them
• You don't always have to have an answer.  
• CYA (Cover Your Ass)
• Document, Document, Document
• Use post-it notes to remember things
• Use a day planner
• Save all voice-mail, just in case
• If someone plays the stupid card and asks you the same questions you answered before, copy and paste your previous response to show them that you already covered that question.
• Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine 

List the ideas, projects, or jobs that are in your thoughts at the present time (no business talk, just personal):

• Blog more
• Do more movie review blogs
• Organize my room a little better
• Make more jewelry
• Go see a past-life reader
• Read more
• EXERCISE
• Eat better
• Limit alcohol
• Lose 10 pounds to start, then 40 more
• Write a book
• Get out more

Now it's your turn....

August 2015 - Where has the time gone?

It's been awhile....

I know, I have said this before, but I am back, refreshed and ready to do some blogging, so here goes.  

From the book, List Yourself (Listmaking as the Way to Self-Discovery), written by Ilene Segalove & Paul Bob Velick:

1. List all of the things in life that give you goosebumps:

• Hearing a story about someone loosing their life
• Anything sad having to do with an animal
• Ghost stories
• The touch of a lover
• Eerie coincidences
• De je vous
• Feeling that connection you get with someone you are in love with when they smile at you and hold eye contact from across the room
• A really great end to a date night

2. Suddenly you've arrived on Jupiter, list the things you can't live without:

•  A book
• My Ipad
• A magazine
• Mexican food
• Hummus
• Margaritas
• Wine
• Redbull
• Tooth brush and paste
• Hair tie
• Paper and pen

Now it's your turn.  What are your answers to these questions?  If you are brave and would like to contribute, comment below.

 

 

Hello Again!

Well, it's been just a little bit since we have seen each other.  In fact, the time flies pretty fast now days.  Work is super busy, kids are growing quickly, school is almost half way over and Christmas is approaching.  With all that being said, is it okay if I try my hardest to NOT feel guilty that I am relaxing today?

Love,

Me

Everything is "SUPER"

You use them everyday (unless you are a recluse and you never do any communicating).  You use them to modify a noun (person, place or thing) - YES, I am talking about ADJECTIVES.  These little sentence helpers help to draw attention to our listeners.

It seems that I have an "adjective" of the month, which I don't know how I got stuck on, that is: SUPER.  I find myself using it to describe just about anything I like.  I find myself using this word almost to the degree of being annoying (ever felt like that?).  So, I thought it would be interesting to share some adjectives with you in hopes that YOU TOO can make some attention grabbing sentences :)

Today's word is:
 
HAPPY: 

1.  Blessed
2.  Blissful
3.  Chipper
4.  Cheerful
5.  Delighted
6.  Elated
7.  Gay
8.  Jolly
9.  Merry
10. Thrilled

The next time someone asks you, "How are you today?" reply with one of these.