REPOST FROM 2012: Social Media & How We Lost Our Social Skills

Being in the food service industry has introduced me to a different interaction with people.

When I was sitting behind a desk, in a professional environment, I used the computer to type documents, prepare presentations and converse over email.  I used the telephone to answer questions, have conversations and get information.  I went to meetings to talk and listen to people face-to-face and I actually had real relationships with the people who came into my office to sit down and chat.

Now that I am working with the public in a more relaxed, casual environment, I see who is out there and that most people just don't have the desire to have conversations or even look up from their telephones.  I don't know how many times I approach a table and greet them with a "Hi, how are you today?" only to get them request a water with lemon without even looking me in the eyes.  They are too busy texting or playing games on their phones.  In fact, I waited on one table that consisted of a mother, father and two tweens and every single one of them was playing on their phone at the table.  Come on!!!!  

What is this world coming to when we can't even use our voices or have meaningful conversations with someone anymore?  We rely so much on technology and I only imagine it getting worse in the future.  Don't get me wrong, I love technology and use it on a daily basis.  It does seem that the younger generation (pre-teens, teens, young adults) are not the only culprits, many people in their 40's are teaching this kind of social trend.

I must say, lots of other servers don't like to wait on the "older generation" but I really love it.  These are the people who are grandparents and great grandparents.  They have been around in a world without all of the social media and probably have no desire to ever learn about it.  They have real talks and real stories that they will share with you whenever they feel like it.  They genuinely care when they await your response to "How are you today?"

I had a conversation with my daughter about social media recently and how kids her age are using it to express all of their feelings to the world instead of talking to their parents, writing poetry or even calling up a friend (as I did when I was her age).  If teens have a problem with someone's actions, they take to the Internet or texting to express their feelings instead of going straight to the person and just talking things out.  This leads to so much confusion and many more people's involvement.  I guess I can't limit this behaviour to just teens, I know plenty of marriages that have unfolded over the Internet and Facebook.  It's put right out there for all of us to be a part of and to react to.   

One of the biggest problems I see (and there are many) is that when you rely on written word to get your point across, there is no reflection to hear and no guarantee all of your words will be taken the way that you mean them.  Texts can get lost, sarcasm can be detected (or not detected) and cap locks can accidentally be used when we are not even upset.  Why not just pick up the phone or go hang out and talk things through?

Okay, I am done venting and I am going to step off of my soap box.

You're Never Too Old To Learn

I'm killing two birds with one stone.  No, not literally, but I am doing TWO things that I NEED to do, at the same time.

I want to learn more about nutrition and write for my blog, so, I thought that in order to hold myself accountable for both, I would do some blog posts about what I learn.

I was always a skinny kid with high metabolism who never really worried about eating right.  Eating vegetables was not my priority or my desire.  In fact, I would sit at the table, like most kids who do not want to eat their food, and waste time until my family would get tired of seeing me there and take my plate.  I also used to throw my peas under the table in hopes that my little white dog would eat them.  Well, apparently, my aim was not so good, because she would give me up by trotting around with peas on top of her head.

As a 40ish-old woman who now weighs considerably more, who has type 2 diabetes and who still doesn't like vegetables, I find myself teetering on obesity and a life of hospital stays.  Due to a recent bacterial infection, I lost 24 pounds in 3 months and now that I am getting healthy again, I don't want to gain the weight back.  Now couldn't be a better time to make some changes!

I'm going to be learning out of two awesome books: The Complete Idiot's Guide To Total Nutrition written by Joy Bauer, M.S., R.D. and Nutrition For Dummies written by Carol Ann Rinzler.

Stay tuned to learn with me!

REPOST: How To Delegate

We all get to be the boss sometime in our life, whether it be with our work, our school, in our homes or with our children. Being a leader has it's challenges. There is a job that has to get done and you either need help with it or you need someone else to complete the task. There is a certain way the project needs to get done and usually a time frame that has to be met. Knowing how to ask for that help and see that the project gets carried out is a skill some people need a little help with.

#1: Describe the job and the outcome that needs to be reached. For example: "Today, we need to get this mailing out to all of our clients."

#2: Specify who's responsible for meeting this goal: "I would appreciate your help in spearheading this project and seeing that it gets completed today. Can you please take care of this?"

#3: Describe the steps that need to be completed so that the project is successful: "It's important that we make enough copies of this memo so that all of our clients receive it. We will need to put it on letterhead, prepare labels and envelopes and tri-fold the memo so that it fits in the envelope. Then, let's make sure that the correct postage gets applied and that the mail is done before the carrier arrives at 4:00 pm."

#4: Ask if there are any questions or concerns with accomplishing the task: "Do you have any questions? Do you think that you will be able to get this mailing out by 4:00 pm today?"

As the employee being given the task, this would be the time for you to clarify the instructions to make sure that you understand everything that is being asked. Far too many times, employees feel intimidated and they proceed with a project without fully understanding what needs to be done. This leads to mistakes and delays in completing assignments.

#5: Make yourself available to the employee and check on their progress.

#6: When you see that the job is completed, praise your employee: "I see you got those memos out. Thank you so much for taking care of that, you did a really good job. Those memos were really important."

The steps above can be applied to any sort of delegation, whether it be asking your kids to do a chore or working with groups for community service. Following these steps will help make you an effective delegator.

Life Lessons From A Broken Heart

1. Don’t ignore the red flags or that “little voice”.

2. Sometimes love is not enough.

3. Two broken people do not a lasting relationship make.

4. Your rebound will not be your “forever”.

5. Walking on eggshells only puts off the inevitable.

6. Addiction is hard on loved ones.

7. Confrontation is not always a bad thing.

8. Honesty, trust and communication are all very important in a loving relationship.

9. Don’t settle for what you know is wrong for you.

10. Change is scary, but necessary to grow.

11. Pride is a stubborn thing.

12. Being alone is not necessarily a bad thing.

13. You can still be "you" when you are part of a “we”.

14. It’s okay to not always be “ok”.

15. If someone really wants something, they will fight for it. 

16. What is meant to be will be.

17. Don’t chase after ghosts.

18. You may forgive, but you will never forget.

19. You can’t take things back once they have been said and you can’t undo what’s been done.

20. You don’t always get a second chance.

August 2015 - Where has the time gone?

It's been awhile....

I know, I have said this before, but I am back, refreshed and ready to do some blogging, so here goes.  

From the book, List Yourself (Listmaking as the Way to Self-Discovery), written by Ilene Segalove & Paul Bob Velick:

1. List all of the things in life that give you goosebumps:

• Hearing a story about someone loosing their life
• Anything sad having to do with an animal
• Ghost stories
• The touch of a lover
• Eerie coincidences
• De je vous
• Feeling that connection you get with someone you are in love with when they smile at you and hold eye contact from across the room
• A really great end to a date night

2. Suddenly you've arrived on Jupiter, list the things you can't live without:

•  A book
• My Ipad
• A magazine
• Mexican food
• Hummus
• Margaritas
• Wine
• Redbull
• Tooth brush and paste
• Hair tie
• Paper and pen

Now it's your turn.  What are your answers to these questions?  If you are brave and would like to contribute, comment below.

 

 

20 Things to Say to Encourage Your Children (via Rachel Wojo)

Week before last I wrote a list of 20 things to say to encourage my husband. 7 Ways to Praise Your Husband for 7 Days and 7 Ways to Praise Your Children for 7 Days have been two well-loved articles here on the blog. The power of praise and encouragement…

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What Was Your First Job?

Yes, it's a dirty word, but some body's got to use it!


At eleven years old, I was ready to tackle the world and make some money.  I had always liked to keep busy and found fun in doing chores (they always said there was something wrong with me).  In addition to those naysayers, my family told me that I would have plenty of time to work when I was an adult.  Of course, I did not listen.

I was fortunate to have the opportunity to work for my Grandfather, Doc.  Doc was not a doctor, as you might think, but an owner of several, large, western-wear, clothing stores.  My Grandpa had thousands of boots, hats, belts, jeans, you name it.  If it was western, he sold it.  The biggest store that he owned was in a very popular, local shopping mall named Valley West Mall (on a side note: this mall was torn down many years ago, but because it was loved by many, I started a Facebook group Fans of Valley West Mall and am proud to say that there are almost 1,200 people in this group, who now live all over the country).

This store being the biggest one of them all, and closest to my home, was where I began my working career.  At eleven, I was given the very prestigious and important job of maintaining the appearance of the store.  This included vacuuming what seemed like the entire length of a football field, cleaning mirrors, dusting, taking out the garbage and my least two favorites of cleaning the bathrooms and emptying the ashtrays.  Although it seems like a lot of work for a little person, I did my job diligently.  I even road my bike to and from work which was probably a three mile ride one-way.

My bike, aw, that was my freedom (but that's a whole other story).

Anyway, I made a decent salary and I got to go spend my earnings at the food court or at the video game arcade - so life was good.  

As I got older, I begged for a promotion.  I was given the task of working by the register processing credit card transactions during the busy holiday seasons. "What's the big deal about that?" you ask.  "People run their own credit cards through the key pad - what did you have to do?"  Well, my friend, in the mid 1980's there were no credit card machines.  We had three-part, carbon copy credit card slips that needed to be filled out and then placed on a sliding imprint machine with the card.  We ran the imprinter over the paper and "Walla!" the numbers were now on the slip.  In addition, I got to call an 800 number with every transaction and enter information into the phone in hopes that the credit went through and I would be given an authorization code to complete the order.  At 13, I was VERY IMPORTANT!

At 16, I was ready for bigger and better things.  Although I really wanted to work behind the cash register and run all of the transactions and touch the money, I was only given a few opportunities to do so.  Not because I did anything wrong but because I was just too young, I suppose!  So, I was given the job of selling women's clothes.  I had to bug people and ask if they wanted to spend their hard earned money on a $50 Panhandle Slim blouse or a $100 pair of Wranglers.  I did not make a commission but at those prices, I sure wish I did.  One part of my job was SUPER awesome.  I got to work with a leather stamping machine and dye to personalize custom belt orders.  Remember when people had their names on the back of their belts (Jim, Bob, Chuck).  That was ME displaying my beautiful skills.  And skills I needed, especially when working with someone's expensive $100+ belt they just purchased.  If I messed up, I was sure to be in trouble.

My first job allowed me to learn a lot about a lot.  It is also where I met the man who, 14 years later, became my ex-husband and the father to my 2 AWESOME kids.

What was your first job and what did you learn?

The Art of Organizing A Party

Call it my Virgo nature, but I have always been an organizer. Sometimes my organization even HAS organization. I am forever cursed with this blessing. A person should share what they are good at, so I thought I would throw out a few hints, tips and pointers to some of my "not so organized" friends. Here are some ideas for planning a party or get-together.

Before sending out your invitations, you will want to sit down with a piece of paper and map out your event. Write down the date, time (start and finish) and location. Keep in mind, if you are having a party at your home, you will need somewhere for your guests to park, along with directions to your home. If there is a theme for your event, such as a luau, baby shower, 50th birthday, etc., you will want to note that.

You can't have an event without guests, so the next step would be to determine who should be invited. Your list should be divided into two columns, the first column should be labeled "adults" (this would include anyone who you think would consume an adult size portion of food/drink). The next column would be for the little guests who don't eat or drink much. This list will be used for your invitations, this way you will have a good idea of how many people you have invited. When you begin receiving your RSVP's, you can put a check mark by those that confirmed their participation.

In the meantime, a menu should be developed based on what theme you have chosen. Remember, the time of day your party is given will determine what kind of menu to have. Once you have decided on a menu, you will want to mark it on your event map in a list format so that you can use it to go shopping or contact caterers.

In planning for your party, there is almost always something that is forgotten, so don't stress. Take a mental tour of your party and begin another list; anticipate silverware, plates, napkins, cups, center pieces, table coverings, decorations, condiments, side dishes, appetizers and desserts. You will need plenty of serving bowls and dishes along with utensils to serve. If you are having a bar, you will need to remember the entire bar equipment needed. Don't forget to make sure you have places for your guests to sit as well as a place for them to eat. If you don't think you will have enough chairs or tables, see if any of your friends or family can help out or as a last resort you can contact a rental agency.

If you are having some form of entertainment such as a disc jockey, clown, inflatable, or a dance floor, you will want to make sure to book early as professional entertainment is popular. If you are opting to use an IPod, CD player or the radio, you will want to stage an area close to the right amount of light and outlets.

I know that the worst part of a party is the cleanup. To help with planning for this, make sure that you have several places for people to throw their trash and or recyclables. To cut down on a large amount of paper cups being used, you can provide a marker for everyone to put their names on their cups. This helps with kids not wasting and provides them a sense of ownership of their drink (not to mention this helps grown-ups too).

I am sure you will think of other things that I have left out, but I hope that this helps you to get the ball rolling with planning and organizing your party.

I was inspired by I Help You Blog's 101 Great Posting Ideas For Your Blog to write this post about organizing a party.