The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman

I am reading an interesting book that I have been meaning to read for the last few years.  I purchased it in hopes of learning more about relationships and to help me better understand exactly what makes me and others "tick".

Author, Gary Chapman, explains in his book that there are 5 Love Languages.  I have mentioned them below along with some of my own comments and insights:

1. Words of Affirmation: People like to be complimented, praised and encouraged.  They like to hear kind words that help build them up and make them happy.  They don't like to hear demanding words.  Focus on how important words are.
2. Quality Time: Loved ones enjoy spending time with each other.  They appreciate your full attention and interest.  They like to experience fun adventures or quiet times with you.  Dialogue is important to keep things interesting.
3. Receiving Gifts:  Some people feel love when they are taken care of and given gifts.  Gifts can be visual symbols of love and show that someone was thinking of you.  This is derived from the marriage ceremony when rings are exchanged.  Some feel this act is very important.
4. Acts of Service: Having someone do something that you would like them to do is another way of feeling loved.  Having a meal cooked, pants hemmed, laundry cleaned, are all examples of service.  Personally, I feel that this is most men.  Men like to be taken care of and this came from the care that was given to them by their mothers.  It's important to remember that requests give direction on how to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
5. Physical Touch:  Touching is not limited to one localized are of the body.  Tiny tactile receptors are located throughout the body.  When those receptors are touched or pressed, nerves carry impulses to the brain.  The brain interprets these impulses and we perceive that the thing that touched us is warm or cold, hard or soft.  It causes pain or pleasure.  Some people feel love at the hands of another which is why some enjoy casual flings and one night stands.

I think that many people, like myself, feel loved with each of these languages and not just one.  However, there is usually one that is more important that another, and that is what should be focused on in your relationship.

What is your language of love?

Part 2: Mini-Story: Heading For Trouble© - Written by Jennifer Dorsett

To read the first chapter of this mini-story, please click here: Part 1

 

Bo kept fiddling with his wedding ring.  Kate could not help but read into that.  Does he feel guilty for flirting?  Is he having impure thoughts about her?  Well, of course that is what she was hoping for!

 

“This ring belonged to my Dad, it’s even got his initials in it,” Bo whispered, as he caught Kate staring.  Kate nodded as if uninterested, but she was dying to know if it was now HIS wedding ring or if this meant he was not married.  She would have to find out, soon.

Lunch time came and the class was free to eat wherever they wanted as long as they made it back within the next hour.  Kate was excited to eat at her favorite Mexican food place nearby and mentioned it in passing to Bo.  She secretly hoped he would end up at the same restaurant, but an hour later, they both returned to the class separately.  It would have been nice if they had been able to slip away and have a flirtatious lunch that would lead to perhaps drinks later.  

Kate was brought back down to earth by the sound of the teacher starting class.  Three and a half more hours left of day one and Kate was ready for a nap, but looked forward to her afternoon next to Bo.

Bo found little ways to get Kate’s attention and make her smile.  He made subtle innuendos that were not so innocent and certainly not something a married man should be doing.  There was even a point where their hands brushed against one another, leading both of them to blush.  

Kate fantasized about all of the possibilities that this 4 day class, at a hotel, could bring.  Unfortunately, the hotel was local to all of them, so there was no need to stay the night.  Unless…..

Unless, after class, Bo hands her a room key and suggestively invites her up to his room.  Or, he leans over, and whispers in her ear, “I want you!” and they sneak out to the lobby and duck into a stairwell.  The fantasies must have gone on for a while, because Kate had no idea the class was wrapping up.

As they walked out, down the stairs and to the parking lot, they casually talked about their children, with no mention of spouses.  As they reached the outside, they parted ways with a wave and a “See you tomorrow”, in unison.

“Damn!” was all Kate could think.  This was nothing like her fantasies.

Later that evening, she decided to do a little internet stalking and attempted to find out more about Bo.  Because Bo announced that he was a semi-professional race car driver, she figured there would be no problem finding him on the web, even only knowing his first name.  After an hour, Kate realized it was not as easy as she had hoped.  She racked her brain, trying to remember where he said that he worked.  It was a big building down town, but that was all she knew.  Next, she started searching for high school baseball teams. 

She felt a little guilty and much like a pervert, however, Bo had mentioned that he was a volunteer coach at one of the area high schools.  How hard could it be to go to each sight and look at team photos, read stories, etc.  Surely, they would mention him and she would discover his last name.  No such luck!  Kate giggled at the thought of how she would appear to her friends if they ever found out about her stalking skills.  Not to mention how her ex-husband would feel if he knew she was pining over a married man.  After all, his infidelities within their marriage were hardly acceptable.

The morning was approaching quickly and Kate decided to end her pursuit.  She would have to find out more about Bo tomorrow.  Then she had a terrible thought, “What if we don’t get to sit by each other tomorrow?” Kate asked the question aloud, but knew that she would do everything in her power to spend more time with him, even if she had to get to class early.

 

 

Stay tuned for more of the short story, Heading For Trouble©, Written by Jennifer Dorsett.

Mini-Story: Heading For Trouble © - Written by Jennifer Dorsett

Kate was going to be late.  It seemed to be a habit that she had formed over the last several years.  To be early almost always seemed impossible.

She arrived at the class just in time to have the instructor turn and look at her with that irritated look of someone being interrupted mid-sentence.  Kate stood at the back of the room, as she evaluated her seating options.  The instructor said, "It looks like there are only seats available down here in the front".  Kate quickly chose the most available seat, which so happened to be at the very front of the room, facing the rest of the class and presenting her back to the instructor.  This was not going to be a good 32 hours.

After everyone introduced themselves and explained why they were attending the training seminar, Kate had her chance to move in between two people at a different table.  Now she could face the instructor.  Of course, the move did not go unnoticed by the disapproving glare the teacher gave her.

Kate was seated between a man to her right and a woman to her left.  The man to her right introduced himself, "Hi, I am Bo".  Bo spoke with a southern drawl and it was obvious he was a transplant from Texas.  He was quite handsome and when he smiled at Kate, she felt a fluttering in her chest.  Judging by the ring on his left hand, she did not want to encourage the flirtation, but dang it if he wasn't persuasive.

Throughout class, a bond began forming between Bo and Kate.  With the sideways glances, the deep, meaningful smiles and the gazes into one another's eyes that lasted a little too long, it was obvious there was something brewing.  

Kate had no memory of how to flirt.  Finding herself single, after 25 years of marriage, Kate felt nervous and awkward.  Bo had been the first guy who showed an interest in her since her divorce, 6 months ago. She decided to just be herself and go with it.  Why not have some fun over these next 3 days?  What could be the harm?  Bo was married.  Surely this was innocent banter.  Boy, did Kate have surprises in store for her.....

Stay tuned for more of the short story, Heading For Trouble©, Written by Jennifer Dorsett.